Are You Practicing Unhealthy Self-Care? Ask Yourself These 4 Questions

Kara Beussink
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The term “self-care” is making its way around wellness circles as an easy way to enhance happiness and decrease stress. Self-care is associated with warm baths, yoga, massages, meditation, or journaling about what you’re grateful for.

It’s encouraged for people who feel run-down or overstimulated. And, let’s face it, a lot of us feel this in the age of 24/7 emails and a never-ending stream of social media!

However, while there are plenty of healthy ways to improve normal stress levels, when it comes to mental health issues like anxiety and depression, self-care isn’t necessarily the best path to wellness.

The Truth About Mental Health: Sometimes Self-Care Simply Isn’t Enough

Self-care can be fantastic for alleviating normal, everyday tension. But still, you can feel anxious and depressed even if you do exercise and eat greens, take baths, and do yoga.

There’s a misconception that self-care is a magical way to treat these concerns. While studies have shown that meditation can help to relieve anxiety, it’s not a cure-all for everything that ails us.

When it comes to mental health, self-care isn’t necessarily the best path to wellness.

It’s vital to remember that stress and occasional sadness are different from anxiety and depression. We often see the word “anxiety” used loosely to describe basic stress instead of the more serious health concern that it is.

Claims that self-care can cure anxiety often refer to this watered-down version of the word, creating confusion.

Ask Yourself These 4 Questions to Determine If You Have Unhealthy Self-Care Tendencies:


1. Are you relying on self-care when you should be seeing a therapist or doctor?

Ignoring a problem is like adding fuel to a fire or putting a Band-Aid on a broken bone. Short-term solutions aren’t effective in the long run.

For someone struggling with these issues, surface-level “treatments” that don’t actually improve your state of mental health can create a feeling of incompetence. It can also encourage false comfort, distracting from the fact that what’s actually needed is professional help.


2. Are you neglecting social activities in the name of self-care?

Declining an invite to happy hour in exchange for a quiet night at home might be exactly what you need to unwind. (Introverts unite!)

But do you constantly cancel plans with close friends, avoid colleagues, or skip family dinners because you need more “me time” or don’t want to interact with anyone?

3. Is your self-care sustainable?

Can you continue your self-care rituals long-term?

Sure, a massage can be a great way to boost your mood and bask in the calm of a quiet, dark room. But do you have the time or money for consistent massages?

4. Do you actually feel better?

Self-care can be a terrific treat if it’s practiced in a healthy way. However, if your morning exercise ritual makes you feel more anxious, then it’s time to figure out why.


The Takeaway on Mental Health and Self-Care: Conventional Wellness Advice Is Not for Everyone

If you find certain exercises that help combat your anxiety or depression, that’s fantastic. So, definitely make time for them!

However, when you’re scrolling through an inspirational Instagram feed filled with beautiful posts inferring that wellness is solely about nutrition and exercise, it’s important to remember that wellness involves mental health as well.

“Self-care” is a buzz-word in the wellness world, but true wellness involves getting help when you need it.

Sure, meditation can help with anxiety . . . but is it helping YOU?

“Self-care” is a buzz-word in the wellness world, but true wellness involves getting help when you need it. If you’re struggling with anxiety or depression, you don’t have to rely solely on self-care.

Remember, you are not alone! If you need support, National Alliance on Mental Health is a great resource. Visit or call their helpline: 800-950-NAMI

All included information is not intended to treat or diagnose. The views expressed are those of the author and should be attributed solely to the author. For medical questions, please consult your healthcare provider.

This article has been read 10K+ times. Bada bing!


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Kara Beussink

Kara Beussink is a writer, runner, and proud University of Kansas graduate in New Jersey (but has called seven different states home!). She writes with the goal of empowering others to pursue their own healthy lifestyle and is a passionate advocate for maternal health issues. Follow her journey at!

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