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Why Pineapples Are Your Boob’s Best Friend

Christie Cole
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Who knew that the piña plants Christopher Columbus found along his journeys would make it all the way to Hawaii and then contribute to science with perky breast enhancement?
Yep. The antioxidants in pineapples just happen to be amazeballs for the skin and its elasticity. So if you want your melons to perk up with full pride, get on the fresh pineapple train. Not only that – pineapples are bursting with vitamin C, aid in digestion, battle arthritis, calm inflammation, and help fight cancer (especially mouth, throat and breast cancers).
Suggested Read: 9 Tips for Healthy Boobies
One of the most magical elements of pineapples is a chemical called bromelain, which is a proteolytic enzyme that is anti-inflammatory. This substance breaks down proteins, which is why pineapple is great for tenderizing meat.
Don’t worry – chowing down on food with bromelain isn’t like introducing flesh-eating zombies to feast on your muscles – it’s more like it might make your gums feel fuzzy if you’re sensitive.
However, if you’re pregnant, you should avoid eating say, ten or more entire pineapples all at once. That’s about how much you’d have to eat to risk miscarriage, since bromelain stimulates menstruation when eaten in large quantities.

But never fear – the canning process destroys bromelain, so if you are feeling particularly hangry enough from pregnancy cravings to eat ten whole pineapples by yourself, consider sticking to the canned variety and get down with your bad self.
Now, if you’re wanting to get pregnant, in addition to vitamin C, pineapples have beta carotene, zinc, copper and folate, all of which can help with fertility for both sexes. As a bonus, you’ll also be getting manganese (which protects from free radicals) along with a bit of potassium along the way.
Fair warning, however, that eating pineapples before they are completely ripe might make you poop. They are slightly toxic before completely mature. Even though a pineapple plant only produces one plant per year (and may even take two years to produce one), try not to get too excited and eat it before it’s ready.
And here’s a totally random fact you can file away in your brain for conversation next time you’re drinking a piña colada on the beach with your buddies: apparently if you mix the juice from the pineapple with sand, you can use the mixture to get grit off your boat deck and clean your machete. You know, for the times you need to clean off your boat deck. And your machete.
So if your bikini top is showing off a bit more cleavage lately, it might be the Hawaiian pizza you had last night. And that piña colada you were feeling a bit guilty about? Bottoms up!
Well. . . maybe just on the piña and not on the colada part. 😉

This article has been read 10K+ times. Bada bing!


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Christie Cole

A published poet, Christie works in TV production by day and moonlights as editor of She practices ashtanga, Nichiren Buddhism and is completely smitten with the flying trapeze. She also enjoys tooling around on her motorcycle. Her hope is simply to bring joy to every life she meets.

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