Maybe There Are TOO Many Fish In the Sea – 8 Tips to Navigate Online Dating

Christie Cole
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Online dating apps have blown the door wide open on how we connect, and it can be a tough world to navigate at times. You may have been cushioned (a backup choice if someone’s current relationship isn’t working out), zombie’d (completely ghosted by someone only to have them resurface from the dead six months later), or you’re stuck in a ‘situationship’ (AKA what-the-heck-IS-this-ship).

The good news is that there are social media and app online dating folk who are seeking a real, conscious connection. One where they can #netflixandchill all bundled up together in a blanket burrito on the couch watching a social documentary.

If this is where your heart is, never fear! Forging an authentic connection with a special someone (while dodging the immediate gratification of swipe-lefts-and-rights) is something you can find if you really want to.
 

Here Are 8 Hot Online Dating Tips For Successful Social Media Dating

With online dating, the main thing to remember is to focus on what’s within your control and don’t sweat the things that aren’t. And . . . enjoy yourself along the way!
 

1. Get your flirt on! And use emojis!

Tone gets lost super easily in texts, emails, and anything written. You don’t need to overdo it, nor do things that feel unnatural to you, but being able to express yourself in a creative manner via emojis, iMessage stickers, and the like will help express your personality through a phone right away.
 
Plus, according to a recent match.com dating survey, you may also end up having more fun in the sack with someone you totes vibe with! 😉
 
 

2. Get offline and in person with your interest.

Unless you’re specifically searching for a long distance relationship, taking the next step where you can meet up and experience the energy of someone in person is a great way of learning if they’re the right mix of beans and salsa for your blanket burrito ambitions. (See what we did there?)
 
A dating profile and texting can pique interest, but there’s no substitute for being able to physically see those gorgeous blue eyes that sparked the butterflies in your tummy from a profile pic! At the very least, a phone call after some mutual interest is probably a good idea to get a feeling for who this person is. Otherwise, you may find yourself confined to a textlationship.
 
 

3. Be in it for the long game – stay open to potential opportunities.

The online dating world has expanded our dating realm by putting people in front of us that we’d never cross paths with normally. Maybe we work long hours or telecommute, so we don’t get as much interaction to new social circles.
 
Sooooo . . . before you throw that potential catch back in the sea, consider giving their profile a second glance. Ask yourself if, just because this person doesn’t fit into your typical dating type, maybe you’re writing them off too soon. Go out on a limb, it’s where the fruit is.
 
 

4. Don’t get frustrated with dating pools feeling like a numbers game.

When faced with potential mismatches, catfishing, or someone who wants to breadcrumb you along with messages that never lead to an actual date is discouraging. But remember when we mentioned that online dating apps have drastically widened our dating circles?
 
While we get to meet people we wouldn’t ordinarily, sheer numbers will also expose us to people that are not the best matches. It’s not personal. It’s just a part of the process, and it isn’t exclusive to just dating apps. It’s how dating goes in general in order to figure out if there’s mutual spark. Stay patient and play the game!
 

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5. Going out on dates and meeting people is supposed to be fun. Really!

Most folks are putting their best foot forward on a profile, and they want to do that on your date, too. They’re in the same boat you are! If you arrive at your date simply open to understand who they are, it will take a lot of pressure off of you.
 
The truth is you don’t know them yet. (Nerp. You really don’t. You saw a pic and a brief bio of what they were willing to share with strangers.) Ask questions and really listen in order to get to know them. Try to let go of any preconceived notion about needing them to be perfect for you. Patience, grasshopper! The future is built on the present, one step at a time.
 
 

6. Be the kind of person you want to meet.

Getting yourself out there to meet people is an incredible chance to challenge yourself, and grow, and to meet someone at the level of your own expectations. It’s good to have standards and know what you’re looking for.
 
But if you desire a partner who has their life together, are you bringing that to the table, too? One of the best things to do is to ensure you are living your most completely fulfilled, happy and healthy life, so that you are ready and comfortable in your own skin when that soulmate shows up!
 
 

7. A great partner could be someone who balances you out.

Common ground is great to start, but a true partner is also someone who compliments you. And we don’t mean nice comments about your outfit. It’s OK to have differing interests!
 
If your new hunnybunny likes to watch football on Sundays but you like to go fly trapeze, it doesn’t have to be a deal breaker. Variety is good, space is healthy, and differences help you grow. Differences also make the world a better place!
 
 

8. If you have a bad feeling about someone, it’s OK to just say no.

If someone gives you the willies, makes comments that are a complete turn-off, or suggests something that makes you uncomfortable, do not ignore your instincts. When someone doesn’t respect simple boundaries from the get-go on an online dating app, you’ve already gotten an indicator that is a red flag.
 
Take that warning seriously and don’t feel badly about it. Furthermore, if you’re headed out on a date, always let someone know where you are going to be (in a public place!) and to check in with you at a certain time. Hey, better safe than sorry.
 
And if someone pulls the proverbial catch & release, ghosts, haunts, zombies, or submarines on you? It says way more about them than anything else. Consider yourself to have dodged a huge bullet if they display inconsiderate behavior, as that does not make a good burrito!
 

Online Dating Apps: The Takeaway

Don’t forget that if you’re at the coffee shop with your eyes glued to your dating app, you may miss out on the cute guy or gal standing right next to you in line.
 
People are all around you. Keep having fun in life pursuing your dreams and hobbies and passions – chances are, you’ll meet someone who shares the same adventurous spirit when you go skydiving for the first time. (Or you’ll bond over never wanting to do it again!)
 
So, while dating apps are wonderful and useful tools, maybe get your head up out of your iPhone once in a while. It could pay off.
 
Oh, and one other thing – smiling is almost always a good idea. 🙂
 

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Christie Cole

A published poet, Christie works in TV production by day and moonlights as editor of daughtersofculture.com. She practices ashtanga, Nichiren Buddhism and is completely smitten with the flying trapeze. She also enjoys tooling around on her motorcycle. Her hope is simply to bring joy to every life she meets.

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