Speaking This ‘Language of Love’ Is the KEY to a Thriving Relationship (How Fluent Are You?)

Frannie Williams
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Love languages tell an important story of how we experience love. They also serve as a guide for how to love those close to us.

Without knowing how you want to experience love, it can be pretty difficult to feel like you are actively receiving love. You could also be feeling abundant in love, while neglecting the love languages of those showing you love.

Relationships are the building blocks for healthy partnerships. When all parties feel their love languages are being met and communication is open, a relationship can merge into a partnership.
 

Without knowing how you want to experience love, it can be pretty difficult to feel like you are actively receiving love.

 
Can you identify your love languages? Can you express them to others?

Now, turn the other hand. Are you showing those close to you love in ways that honor their love languages? Do you know their love languages?

In this article, we will discuss how to better serve our own love languages and then use our own love abundance to build healthy partnerships with others.
 
 

Using Love Languages to Build Partnerships vs. Relationships

Love languages are an essential part of communication while dating. Even dating apps now include questions about your love language and how to best serve it.

And let’s face it, there are few things more dissatisfying than not having your love languages met.

Then, there is also a chance that we are the ones not meeting our partner’s love languages. We can remedy this by first serving our own love languages and then practice open communication with our partner about how to also serve theirs.

This can apply not only for romantic partnership, but all relational partnerships.

Similar to love languages, there are also many types of intimacy (beyond sex). Explore These 12 Types of Intimacy With Your Partner
 
 

First, Do You Really Know Your Love Language?

We are all human and on an avid journey of discovering ourselves.

Some of us are fully aware of our love language and can tell you all about it! Others of us struggle to put words to what we need and can’t get even past the questionnaire.
 

You need to serve your own love language before you ask someone to serve it for you.

 
We also change. Our love languages evolve as we grow. When is the last time you checked in on yours?

No worries – it takes time to develop this understanding within ourselves. Knowledge is power, right? Once we know where we stand, the better we can play our own position.
 

As a Quick Refresher, Here Are the 5 Main Types of Love Languages:

  • Physical Touch
  • Words of Affirmation
  • Acts of Service
  • Quality Time
  • Gifts
  •  

    Want to learn – or confirm – your love language? Take Our Love Languages Quiz!
     

    Why Does Knowing Your Love Language Even Matter?

    Is knowing your personal love language really that important?

    Well, yes! It is difficult navigating relationships when you don’t know yourself. How can you truly assist your partner in serving your needs when you can’t fully express what they are?
     

    If you are loving your partner only as you want them to love you, there may be a hole somewhere in the love tank.

     
    This is why building a healthy partnership first starts with going on a journey with yourself. You need to serve your own love language before you ask someone to serve it for you.
     

     
     

    Here’s How to Serve Your Own Love Language First!

    If your love language leans more towards words of affirmation – speak life over yourself daily! And I mean daily. Wake up, look at yourself in the mirror – messy hair and all – and declare that you are everything, you are the shit!

    Let the universe know exactly where you stand with yourself first and then everyone else will get in line!
     

    The same joy you feel when others serve you, is the exact joy you should feel when serving yourself. You are the only person who can set an example for how others treat you.

     
    If your love language is acts of service, schedule time weekly to take yourself out or plan a nice night at home.

    Maybe tonight, you can soak in a warm bath, make yourself the cutest charcuterie board, and sip on a tall glass of your favorite drink. Get lost in music or your favorite book. Yes love, you’re busy tonight. Party for one!

    The same joy you feel when others serve you, is the exact joy you should feel when serving yourself. You are the only person who can set an example for how others treat you.
     

    Partnerships vs. Relationships

    The best partnerships are built with people who love themselves first.

    Contrary to popular belief, it’s not your partner’s job to make you feel loved or happy. It is your job to feel that all on your own. The combination of your partner also practicing self-love leads to this unbounded magnetism, fireworks! BOOM BABY . . . BOOM!

    This is what we are really searching for . . .

    We are searching to be overflowing with love, not just full. When you are overflowing, you can give your excess away without taking from yourself. This is partnership. This is where the key to your healthy relationship lies.

    A healthy partnership is what it takes for a successful marriage! Here Are 5 Things You Should Know About Your Partner BEFORE You Get Married
     

    It’s Not All About You

    It’s fine and dandy to know what you need. But, how much time do you spend finding out what your partner needs?

    If you are loving them only as you want them to love you, there may be a hole somewhere in the love tank. This is why a conversation about love languages at the beginning of a partnership is so valuable. It allows both parties to address not only what they need, but how they like it delivered.
     

    When only one person is having their love languages met, the experience is beautiful intrapersonally while also being toxic interpersonally.

     
    You may need consistent affirmation that your partner adores and supports you. That is beautiful, so express that!

    At the same time, your partner may only be doing that for you and needs less of that themselves. Your partner may need you to show them love by giving gentle kisses throughout the day or simply not taking work calls on off days.
     

     
     
    There are many ways you can show your partner love that won’t cost you a dime. It will, however, require that you are observant.

    Looking for inspo? Here Are 10 Ways to Show Someone You Love Them That Don’t Cost a Thing!
     
     

    Here Are 3 Ways to Better Serve Your Partner’s Love Language:

    Now that we’ve covered the importance of understanding you and your romantic partner’s love language, read on to discover how to honor and serve theirs. This is the key for a healthy, thriving partnership!
     

    1. Listen to your partner

    Don’t take anything personally. When your partner speaks on their needs not being met, believe them. Know that they are communicating it to you because they have the desire to put in the effort with you. This is a good thing!

    When you need to speak on your own needs being met, read: 5 Affirmations to Balance Your Throat Chakra for Clear Communication
     

    2. Observe how they are responding to your gestures of love

    It is important to learn to read our partner’s body language. There are so many things said silently through body language.

    In fact, our bodies speak before our mouths do. Watch your partner’s responses to your choices. Their soul will tell you everything you need to know.
     

    3. Ask them what they need more or less of

    When only one person is having their love languages met, the experience is beautiful intrapersonally while also being toxic interpersonally.

    In other words, you have your love languages served. Yet, you are not also mindful of your partner’s love languages. While this interaction may be abundant for you, it is depleting for them.

    Partnership involves both parties offering dual effort to bring love and harmony into the relationship.
     
     

    You Are Ready for a Healthy and Thriving Romantic Partnership!

    If you don’t know your love languages, your partner may not know them either. In other cases, they may know more about your love languages than you do!

    Nonetheless, have the conversation. Serve yourself with your love languages gracefully and shine as a light for your partner to follow.

    Then, let your love flow out of you. Share your light by returning it to your partner in the best way they can receive it.

    With love . . .

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    Comments

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Frannie Williams

Frannie is a wellness guide for her company, Guided Surrender. She is a performer and also teaches yoga and improvisation. She is passionate about mental health, self-love, and living an abundant life. As a wellness guide, she believes we can find healing using what we already have within us.

guidedsurrender.com

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