Confessions of a Yogi: My Man Doesn’t Like Yoga (This is How We Make It Work)

Allie Flavio
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This one’s a sensitive piece . . . Because it’s about me, me and my man, thoughts that ebb and flow, and how I wake up every day with these words in my head:
Today, I choose my partner.
Which then leads to the questions . . .
But what about the days you’re just not feeling it? Or the day you practice next to a dedicated, sexy-ass yogi? Or the day you meet someone so in-tune with themselves, you can feel their energy vibrating into your sphere? Or the day you ask your partner to join you in yoga, and their response is NO?
I’ve had those days.
I have those days.
I will continue to have those days.
And with my marriage fast approaching (like t-minus three weeks), this is an article to tell you – yes you – how I’ve journeyed through 8 years of life with the same man, how I’ve experienced “those” days, the simple ways we find a common ground, and the not-so-simple ways we move forward . . .
Even when it feels like we’re moving backwards.
This article isn’t just for the yogi, because let’s be honest – no relationship is perfect, no two people are replicas of one another (nor should we be), and no two people are a constant pillar of support, love, and willingness.
This article serves two purposes:

  • It serves as a space for me to let go and grow – simultaneously
  • It serves as a space for you to learn, feel like you’re not alone, and then let go, and grow

And now, let’s cut to the chase!

Here are my 4 go-to tips on how to date a non-yogi:


1. Find a common interest

I get it, male and female interests can vary greatly.
She likes shopping, reading books, taking walks, watching sunsets . . . He likes watching sports, fishing, drinking with the guys, doing manly things . . .
But here’s the deal – you MUST find a common interest or interests.
As partners, your interests will mold into experiences, reflections, memories, and ultimately a foundation that you build upon for years to come. (MAKE BOLD QUOTE)
For me + my partner – we bond and find mutual interest in live music, outdoor activities (boating, kayaking, scuba diving), cooking, exploring new restaurants, and traveling. Our experiences, our journey through the years, has morphed into a beautiful novel of incredible moments, places, people, and sensations.
I urge you to find the common interest, find the space where you can both meet, and then stay deeply connected to it. Don’t let it haphazardly fall to the wayside. Keep it near you, hold it dear to your heart.
And this my friends, will help keep the fire burning and the love flowing.

2. Stay interested in one another

When two people first discover each other, everything is of interest – the movies, dinner, outfits, daily activities, even our lips moving is interesting (and sexy).
But fast forward years, and years, and years later – those first moments, butterflies I like to call them, have flown away. They take a permanent vacation . . .
And it’s your job, as an individual and a partner, to create new butterflies.
Sigh. Why didn’t anyone talk about this in the fairytales?
These newly created butterflies don’t come easy. They don’t flutter around effortlessly, but when they do appear – they’re stunning, beautiful, and magical.
So next question – how the hell do we create these butterflies?!

  • Listen to one another – wholeheartedly (put the damn phone down)
  • Stare into your partner’s eye – acknowledge their existence
  • Hug every day – a real embrace – hold onto another, and feel their heartbeat
  • Touch one another – both sexually and simply as a caring gesture
  • Show each other small gestures of love – never let this die



3. Show off your yogi skills

Now that we’ve covered the really important, absolutely necessary stuff, let’s get into the yogi portion of this love manifesto.
Upon entering into the yoga community, you’ll be quickly swept off your feet, as if your yoga mat is a magic carpet. And because you’re floating in yoga la la land, it’s natural to want to share your journey with others.
This is how your partner can learn, understand, and maybe even try a pose or two with you.
And as your magic carpet ride continues, because the yoga journey never ends, you’ll continue to fall deeper and deeper into a yogic state of love.
So what’s the solution?
Keep sharing your passion.
Show off your new yogi skills, pop up into crow pose, get upside down, flow through a sequence, ask your partner to snap some photos . . . Just keep sharing, period.

4. Practice yoga off the mat

And lastly – everything you learn on the yoga mat, take it off the mat, and integrate the teachings into your daily life + relationship.
If you’re skeptical as to what that means, here’s my modus operandi:

  • Practice patience with yourself and your partner. Just as a posture can take time and effort to understand, the same can be said about ourselves.
  • Treat your body kindly, know the difference between an interesting/challenging sensation versus too deep, painful, or burnt out. The same gauge of sensation goes for you + your partner – be present and mindful.
  • Practice self-love and translate this back into your relationship.
  • Stay curious – about the yoga postures, about your body, about your partner, about your life together.
  • Stop comparing – keep your eyes on your yoga mat and your relationships. Sure, you can appreciate what others can/are doing, but stay focused on your reality.
  • Practice consistency (the hardest, yet most obvious of them all). The more we do of anything, the easier it will become.

Friends, yogis, whoever you are reading this – please take these words to heart. Use them to grow the relationship with yourself, your family, your friends, and most importantly – the lover in your life.
Write them down, print them out, frame them, repeat them to yourself, do what you gotta do to stay focused, present, and in love . . .
. . . In love with your yoga practice, the shapes your body makes, the movements you create, the community you foster, and the beauty that yoga brings to your life + your partner’s.
Let’s Talk! Are you a diehard yogi dating a non-yogi? Has this strengthened or weakened your relationship? Are you finding ways to involve yoga, without the physical component? Did this piece help connect the dots?
As always – comments, suggestions, questions, or general yoga love, please drop it down below.
Until next time – xoxo.

This article has been read 3K+ times. Feelin’ the love!


wonderful comments!

Allie Flavio

Allie is the soul behind and a yoga girl at heart. When Allie’s not blogging about yoga/travel advice or doing/teaching yoga, you can find her relaxing by the beach in sunny St. Petersburg, FL. A born and raised Florida girl, Allie is an outdoor junkie who loves the ocean, fresh air, and a delicious fish sandwich! To learn more about her yoga and travel adventures, check out her blog The Journey Junkie.

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